Fire

Me and the fire were talking once,
something we haven't done in months.
we sat and talked for hours and hours,
we sat and talked untill the blooming of flowers.
but it seemed as though the fire was sad,
it didnt glisten, it was so bland.
i wondered from where the sadness may have come ?
usually it's as powerful and sweet as Jamaican rum !
i wondered and asked what was making it scuff ?
and how things for it became so rough ?

apparently the fire no longer thinks it's hot stuff !!!
can you imagine something that is more huff ?

i tried to explain the warmth that it gives,
that people endure as long as it lives.
how it brings joy and makes life so colorful,
how it lights our nights and makes it so beautiful.
but the fire is stubborn and won't budge from it's conviction,
perhaps one day i'll be able to cleanse it, from it's affliction.

Sunshine

We often encounter days in our lives when everything just seems to be rather stale and tasteless, where the magic of the fairy tales we read about as youngsters seems to fade away into nothingness, days of stagnant routine and unending boredom, and remarkable as the human mind might be, remarkable as the human imagination could be, we all encounter those days once in a while. sometimes they last for a small amount of time, but then sometimes they last for years on end.

Last year in college was one such period for me, i'd get into the lecture room in the morning, and i'm deprived from the beauty of nature, and the freedom of sunlight for 8 hours, till we are freed from the shackles of a deteriorating educational system. i would feel the room is closing down on me, the walls moving towards me ever so slightly, like an impending sentence of doom. there seemed to be no escape.

Yet, when all hope had faded, when life had dwindled to a monogamous daily routine that pushed me towards the oblivion of my sanity, hope appeared once again in my life, a beacon of light shined through, enlightening my days. when i saw it, it was like seeing sunshine showering an endless field of sunflowers, like tree leaves rustling at the soft breeze of wind. when i saw it, i smiled without thinking, it was some kind of reflex action, how can one not smile when such innocent beauty descends upon your world and life.

That light, was not an ordinary girl, she seemed to be some pure spirit that illuminated love and happiness to everyone around her through her heart felt smiles and laughter. whenever i saw her smile, i cannot help but feel happy and at peace. she is one of the most beautiful individuals i know to walk this earth, i am proud and privileged to have her as a friend, and i definitely am sure, she does not belong to the mortal world, but rather, some higher dimension of pure joy and delight.

Thank you, for having me in your life, M.G.

Challenge yourself.

There is this old guy that lives at one end of my street. he is either very very old -he does look like he's 90 or something- or he has some sort of a disease, because when he walks, a snail is considered a sprinter next to him. He moves very slowly, one step after the other, holding his trusty cane with him, not caring for how slow he is, letting the world move along around him, not giving it an inch of importance or care.

Every morning at about 7 am, he walks from his house -climbing down three flights of stairs since they don't have an elevator- at one end of the street, all the way to the bakery at the other end of the street. a walk that would probably take me about 10 minutes to make, 15 if i'm being lazy, but at the speed he walks, it probably takes him about 3 or 4 hours -if not more-. he buys exactly 5 loafs of bread, then goes back home. then at around 2 pm, he makes a slightly longer trip over to the grocer's buys some vegetables -salad stuff mainly- and goes back home. and at around 7 pm, he makes another, much longer trip to the dairy shop, and buys 2 portions of yogurt.

Astonishing isn't it. that man spends around 11 hours every day walking down the street, doing errands that would take any of us 20 minutes to do. when i look at him, i can't help but admire his persistence, perseverance, and courage. He understands that he is old, he accepts it even, but he doesn't give in to his weaknesses, he challenges himself daily, pushes his body that has grown too feeble and weak to contain his amazing soul and fiery spirit.

Whenever i see him walking down the street, i always wonder what he was like as a younger person. Has he always been so full of life ? was there a time when he used to run for several kilometers daily ? is what he is doing now just a continuation of his normal lifestyle ? or was there a time in his life when he understood that he needed to change certain things about his personality ? a time when he realized that no matter where we are, no matter what life has done to us, no matter the obstacles or the amount of times we fall, he must never surrender, he must never give in to his weaknesses, and that he must always challenge himself to be who he wants to be, and do what he wants to do.

We all have our weaknesses and our shortcomings. some of us get nervous around people they just met, some of us are afraid of the unknown, of trying new things, or new experiences, some of us are afraid of heights, some of us are afraid of insects (ehm!!!). But no matter what your weakness is, know that you can always over come it, our body is a tool that we use to live our life on this world, who we really are is in our mind, and in the mind, anything is possible, don't think you can do the things you want to do, know that you can. every time there is an obstacle that stood against you several times before challenge yourself  into overcoming it, challenge yourself into doing what you fear the most.

Whether you believe in an eternal life after death or not, this world is just a temporary stop, there's no point in being afraid of what happens in it. just do what you want to do, and have fun doing it :)

The impossible dream.

At one point or another in all of our lives, we fall prey to the paws of our minds and imagination, they start playing tricks on our feeble spirits. giving us pictures of -what we presume- to be the perfect match for us, and filling us with hope that someday we would actually find that person and live happily ever after with them. most of the time -if not always- those fantasies are a little less than unrealistic. Blondes, brunettes, muscular, fit, thin, plays sports, extra smart, great skin, awesome sense of humor. and the list goes on.

All of us had had this happen to them, but if you still deny it, then i would have you consider the following. if you have ever liked someone, and said "if they change that one aspect about their life, they'd be perfect for me" then you're still guilty. It's happened with all of us, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, humans are gifted with their imagination, and hopes. hopes for a better brighter future with someone that is perfect for you, and you love, is not something to be ashamed of.

Of course, as i have already said, the requests are more often than not quite extreme and unrealistic. but none the less, quite amusing, and enlightening. I had a talk with a friend of mine lately and we discussed this. thus the following is what my mental image is, on my future life partner.

A silver head of platinum, that shines like the stars,
or fiery red, as a twilight sun, out far.
Skin so silky and smooth,
and eyes so dazzling, of emerald and hazelnut dyes.
A soul as gentle as a tulip,
and a spirit as free as the butterflies.
A heart that has no fear of the unknown,
and a mind that yearns for knowledge, beyond the earth and the skies.


I know i'm no gallant knight.
No shining armor or horse of white.
No golden hair or a heart so bright.
But perhaps one day i'll meet my dream,
Perhaps one day i'll find her in my sight.

Being happy 4.0

This is the last post in the being happy series, and as such, it is by far the most important one.

Learn to let go, learn to move on. I've said this earlier in the series, but i'll say it again. "what happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way.". this time, there is no single concept that i will tell you about, there is no new idea, whether difficult to implement or easy. this is simply the accumulation of everything i told you, and condensing it into one simple idea. the past is the past, it happened for a reason, whether we like  that reason or not, whether we accept it or not. it already happened, nothing can change it. what can change however is the future.

Yet the future is still to come, we can't just keep looking ahead at a mirage, a shadow of what we want in life, that may very well not come into existence.  No, the future is as useless as the past. we are not alone in the world, let alone the universe. everything that everyone else does will affect your decisions, actions, and life. how can you rely on a future that you can not control all by yourself. The future is as useless as the past.

Now is what matters. your actions now are the ones that will affect both you, and those around you. the present is all we can rely upon, it's what we can change, what we can affect, what we can reach out and grab, to hold or to dispose of, but the present is ours. it is called the present for a reason.

I have had three life changing experiences. two of them were full of fear, doubt, and a sense of defeat. the other, full of joy and delight. and although the feelings i had during each one was very different, i still remember my feelings during those periods. even the feelings of fear and doubt, and i love them. you might say this is sadistic, but it isn't. i simply love how these events have shaped me into what i am, how can i hate the very thing that made me who i am today. but in anyway, that was the past, toiling in it will not change anything. and thus, i use those feelings to push me forward, keep me afloat, and learning from my mistakes. it is the love of the things that hurt you, that will set you free from their grasp.




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and by that, we reach the end of the being happy series. i hope you have enjoyed it, and i hope that you were affected by it, or learned something new from it. even if you disagree with what i said, at least now you know why i do what i do.

Being happy 3.0

If you want to do something, then go do it. very often do i meet people that want to do things, but opt out of doing them due to constraints or some excuse or another. you will never be happy in your life unless you do what you want to do. society will only ever slow you down and hold you back, don't listen to the voices around you, listen to the voice within you. we have a consciousness for a reason.


I mean, come on. what's the worst that can happen ? I've talked about this in my last post. worst case scenario, you will learn something new, you will experience a new feeling. or strengthen an old one, get to meet new people, or delve deeper into the understanding of the human personality, in my opinion, nothing bad can ever happen from trying something new -and crazy-. personally, i try to do or try something new each day. yes, every single day. it doesn't matter whether it's big or small, it can be a type of food, using a transportation method you never used before, reading about something weird and exotic. as long as it's new, it will enrich your life.

Doing the things you want to do might sometimes prove to be regretful. however, not doing them will always prove to be regretful. if there is something you want to do, then do it. as long as you know what the consequences are, and more importantly accept them, then go for it. no one should ever have a saying over yours.


Be honest. again, this one might seem overly simple, but again, very few people actually practice it. being honest is somewhat linked to telling people when you're annoyed with something they did. but generally it's slightly more fun. you see, most people treat others with caution -even if subconsciously- because as humans, all of us have lied at one point or another -don't deny it- and thus, we innately expect others to do the same.

Always be honest and straight forward, people will get confused, and it'll be funny as hell. if some people can't accept the truths you are saying, whether it's about their person or otherwise. then you shouldn't be talking to those kinds of people in the first place. say your opinion without fear or hesitation. a single word of honesty is always better than a poem of flirtation.

Being happy 2.0

Picking up where i left off yesterday.

The third thing you can do to have a simple -and thus happy- life is to apologize. i never understood why apologizing for your wrong doings was so hard for some people, you say a word, and instantly the person you have wronged will feel better -even if slightly-.

We are human beings, it's in our very nature to make mistakes, if you don't make mistakes, then you're not human. so it's not a question of  "if", it's a question of  "when". when you make a mistake towards someone, try to mend it, then apologize, if you can't mend it, then at least apologize, be generous with those you have wronged and you will find that a lot more people will start smiling when they see you coming their way.

This next one is a little difficult for most, but i find it one of the most important. be a realistic optimist. being a realistic optimist is having a positive outlook on life, it means that whatever happens to you, you always reach for the benefits you gained rather than the troubles you endured.

When a bad situation occurs in your life, but at its end you gain something really awesome from it, although it wasn't what you had planned for or expected, is it really considered a bad situation anymore ?
and how about good situations that occur in our life, that at their end we gain exactly what we had planned for and expected, but it turns out to be bad, is it still considered a good situation ?

Everything that happens to us, no matter how terrible, no matter how devastating or soul crushing, will always teach us something, will always give us new insights, new friends, or show us who our real friends are. so in a sense, nothing bad can ever happen to a human being, you just have to look for the good in life, and embrace it, why is that so hard for people to comprehend and live by, why do people purposefully reach out for what will hurt them, and shy away from happiness when it reaches out its arms for us.

I hope that one day people will learn this, same way i did. there is nothing better than having something -that the rest of the world thinks is bad- happen to you, and you surprise that same world by being a better, happier, and more determined you.

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to be continued...

Being happy.

I believe the secret to a happy life, is a simple one. so in this post and hopefully a few others, i'll be talking about that.

Life is very simple for those who wish it to be, but for some reason most people don't. i will talk about my perspective, perhaps i can convince some of you to look about life the same way i do, but be warned, I've been told i have a very queer mentality.

For me, reasons always come secondary to results, most of you will disagree with that but bear with me. let's say i kill a person purely by accident ( i turned on the light and he got electrocuted in his bath tub 3 floors down ) and another person murders him with intention. in my case, i will probably not get punished at all, but the murderer will probably suffer capital punishment. so that means because the "reason" i killed the man was an accident then i didn't get punished, that's good and well, but for that man's 4 year old daughter, he is dead, no matter the reason, no matter the justification, the consequences she will suffer are the same.

The "reason" only matters when you look at things from your perspective only, but if you count in other people's emotions, feelings and outlook on life, you will quickly find that the "reasoning" behind doing things will not be accepted by everyone the same way you accept it. hence, it's both; more considerate and simpler to just  focus on the "results" of your actions, rather than the "reasoning" behind them.

I know a lot of you by now are thinking that this is too much thinking and toiling for things to be simple, and you're right, but this is just at the beginning, once you establish the concept, enacting it becomes as innate as blinking.

The second thing is pretty straight forward, and might seem slightly ridiculous,  but to my astonishment, very few people -if indeed any at all- actually practice it.
I'm gonna tell you the second concept now, brace yourselves, this one is gonna be a shocker. the second concept is as follows: when something annoys you, say that it does. seems simple enough ? apparently not. either a lot of people are simply masochists and they like to suffer, so they don't speak out. or quite the opposite, a lot of people are so loving and caring towards others, that they would rather suffer, than profess their annoyance from someone's actions or behavior. 

Here's another shocker for you; most people are in fact NOT oracles, they don't see the future, nor are they mind readers, don't expect others to know what you want to say without you actually saying it. if you have a problem with someone, tell them, fix it, and move on. don't linger on negative feelings, by time, bitterness and disdain towards that person will grow, and the problem that could have been solved in a 30 minutes talk, will end up dissolving a friendship.


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to be continued...

Questions of a broken heart.

How can a man love a woman so much yet not know what he loves her for.


How can every thought about her turn sleepless nights into dreams of never never land.


How can a simple smile on her face brighten his day, even if he doesn't know what she's happy about.


How can she stay in his mind for years on end, with only the memory of meeting such a few amount of times.


How can he know when she's sad when she doesn't say, when she's angry although she doesn't talk, and when she's worried even though she doesn't show.


How he lives without her, i don't know. but someone must save him from her, for her magic has changed him from a mentalist, to a fawn.


How can someone be so close in thought yet so far away.


How can he know if she loves him or not.  a mental feat for an emotional deed.


How can loving her be so cruel, yet be the only thing he yearns for.


How is it that he wants to keep talking to her when they don't have anything to talk about.


How can her life be more interesting to him that his own.


How can he express feelings that have no words in any tome.


They say love grows with you but i don't believe, it's love at first sight that's there for me.


what kind of a twisted world it is that prevents him from screaming " I LOVE YOU" for all to hear.

I love you. i love you. more than you know, i love you.

My butterfly queen.

Tale of a city

Due to current events, i think this is fits in just right. if you didn't read this before then i hope you like it, if you did, then read it again, perhaps it'll affect your decision on who to vote for.

Once upon a time, there was a city so ancient, that the rocks and stones it was made of spoke of legends, and its lone river flowing down it's heart, held secrets from time before time. the city held great scholars in all aspects of life, from astronomy to medecine and architecture, it's people were masters of all, that the entire world spoke of its greatness and it's wealth overshadowed the wealthiest of kingdoms. time went by and so did its luster, for seven thousand years the city stood strong against famine and invader alike, plague and disaster, nothing shook it from its ground, for the city was built on a bed of rock and not of sand.

it's monarchy prevailed through the ages, but one fatefull day the monarchy fell, dogs and cowards crawling from under the sewers, they called it a revolution but it was an infection, they stole its beauty and its glimmer. its rocks and stone, once spoke of legends, were stripped from their past and made into building blocks, its river that once held secrets worthy of being myths, tainted and tarnished by their filthy deeds, and to stop the city from ever rising up again, they killed and expelled all the scholars. and finally, they had what they wanted, the greatest city on earth without a patron to watch over, all theirs to rob and plunder. for 60 years they riegned supreme, every time the city tried to regain its former glory, they'd crush all hope just to take another thirty silvers. time and time again they'd crush the city's hopes. but no more.

"But no more" says the city, "i have had enough, i shall rise from the grave, for you have burried me alive you rats". and it started, they city went up in light, against all odds, nay, against all hope, the city rose to fight off the cowards and expell them from its' sacred lands, on the first month of the year, all the doors were open, all took to the streets, men and women, young and old, everyone had a part, some at the tip of the spear, and some holding the spear from breaking. everyone took part, for 18 days and nights like wich the world has never seen before the city stood its grounds, the people screamed and roared "We will not be silenced, whether you are Christian, whether you are Muslim, or whether you are an atheist. You will demand your god damn rights. And we will have our rights WE WILL NEVER BE SILENCED!" they fought against machine guns and tanks, and yet they prevailed, and after 18 days, the city was back, they city was back again to its people, once more on the path to restore its former glory. but 60 years is a long time to polute a river, and to destroy rocks and stone, it shall take time to heal, but it will heal, for it was built on a bed of rock, not of sand, it has survived for seven thousand years, and it shall survive another.

The reason

Whenever someone loves another person, the chief question is always "why". We Egyptians are just born nosy and with a curiosity that will surely kill, so we always want to know why, when, and all that. must there be a reason though ? i mean, if you love someone, you're going to love everything about them, of course there will be things that stand out, but by default you will like everything in them, especially their faults. Maybe i'm too romantic, but i believe in love at first sight, always have and always will -a belief that none of my friends share apparently- which means that i don't think there is a specific characteristic that one would love about the person they've fallen to. none the less, I've always thought about that, and if i am ever to love someone i wish that my answer to that age old question would be something like this.


What kind of a question is that, how can you ask me what i love in an angel, how can  you ask me what i love in someone without a fault. To tell you the truth, i don't know what i love about her, maybe its the way she walks so elegantly, maybe its the way she sits and stands, in a way worthy of royalty. Maybe its her courage, a courage that lets her do things others wouldn't even think about. Maybe its her eyes, those eyes that when i look into them i see...actually i don't know, when i look into her eyes i just get lost, its like i no longer exist, i get the same feeling you get when you look into the deep blue ocean, or when you look up at a full mooned night sky. Maybe its her face, a face that is more beautiful than the rising sun on a winter day, or a lonely budding flower in an endless grey. But above all i would say that i love how she thinks and talks, her intelligence in matters large and small. you know how easy it is for me to know someone's heart and how easier it is to know what they are thinking and what they will do next, perhaps the thing i love most about her is that she puzzles me, i seem to look at her and suddenly my brain freezes, i get lost and confused. What i'm trying to say is that i love her simply because she takes my breath away, every time i see her, no, every time i even dare to think about her, she takes my breath away. 

My butterfly queen.

Silence

At the moment i'm taking some exams -as most of you know- so i don't really have the mental capacity to write anything, so instead i'll just share a thought i had the other day.

The awkward silence; why is it when we are sitting with someone else -or a group of people- and suddenly everyone goes silent do we fee awkward ? why is it do we feel that need to fill that silence with anything, no matter how trivial or mundane it is, just to get over that moment of being uncomfortable?

That's why one of the tests i have for myself, to know whether i'm good friends with a certain person or not, is to be able to sit down with them somewhere, and just not talk, just stay silent and still, enjoying whatever the world has going on around us, and more importantly, enjoying each other's company.

Keep going

In my post "the push" i talked about the different types of people you will encounter, tonight i'll talk about the different types of personalities that we enjoy. Of course this is a very broad subject, thus i will be talking about a specific aspect of our personalities, which is perseverance. the strength and power of will that would help us to keep on trudging through the world despite everything happening around us.

Another one of the philosophies that i live by is " if you want to do something, then go do it. society will only ever slow you down and hold you back, we have a consciousness for a reason". i doubt that requires much iteration. You see, doing things that you want to do might sometimes prove to be regretful, however, not doing anything out of fear or uncertainty, will always prove to be regretful. always follow your dreams and hopes and always strive to bring them to life. so what if you make mistakes ? so what if you stumble down ? without the bad things that keep happening to us all day long every day, life would get extremely boring. comfortable, but boring.

A while ago, i had a dream, it was a crazy and beautiful dream, it was a hard dream. but i did my best to fulfill it, and i went about it the only way i know how. during my pursuit for that dream -that hope- i came to have new friends, i discovered new aspects to my personality and life in general, i came to understand other people's personalities a little bit better. i became a new man. However, at the end, i failed to achieve my dream and my purpose. but that doesn't matter now, i cam out ahead. Had i not pursued that dream, i wouldn't be writing this blog now, i'd be friends with someone i can't trust, and i wouldn't be friends with someone that i can trust my life to. so i leave it to you, what was the wiser decision, pursue my dream, and get sad for a while after not achieving, but gaining all that i gained, or not pursue it, and be the same person i was two years ago.

I know what the world says and will say, yet i keep going. 
I know whats going to happen, yet i keep going. 
I know that the sun sets as it rises, yet i keep going. 
I know that autumn comes after the spring, yet i keep going. 
I know that candles eventually melt, yet i keep going. 
I know that the moon isnt always full, yet i keep going. 
I know that days come to an end, yet i keep going. 
I know what life has done, yet i keep going. 
I know how she feels, yet i keep going. 
I know whats going to be said, yet i keep going. 
I feel what i feel, and so i keep going.

Music

Music has a special place in all of our hearts. everyone likes a different type of music, true, but when we listen to our kind of music, we feel a connection that is only present in the spirit world, we soar over the highest skies, and delve into the deepest oceans. a piece of music can make a man ready to take on the world with all of it's troubles, and the same piece of music can make a man take his own life. it's a very strange notion, how to each of us the same thing can prove to be so different, but if you walk down the street, look into the faces of the people breathing the same air that you breath, and drinking the same water you drink, if you look into their faces, and gaze into their soul, you will see that even though we share the same burdens and turmoil of this earth, we all have a little spark inside of us that flickers a little different than the person next in line, perhaps that's what makes us react so differently to music.

A while ago, i went to an oriental music concert with some of my close friends, it wasn't a very well known band, but they were really good. they played some really awesome music. About fifteen minutes into the concert, i realized that the music they were playing was entirely improvised, they did not practice before they came, and that only added to the charm and beauty of their music. while there, i thought i'd open up my notes, and start writing something -i always have something to write on with me- perhaps this beautiful music of theirs would inspire something, but i realized that it didn't, so instead of trying to write how i feel, i figured i'd try to write what the musician feels, i thought i'd put his music into words, i wish i could have you all listen to the music that was played then, but alas i cant, for i cant even remember the name of the band, however, i will always have these few words, to remind me of that amazing night, and the rivers that ran in it.

A journey of words, from uncertainty to darkness, a brief window of happiness crawls into his life only to be stolen from him as quickly as it came.  
What is it that i want, what is my purpose in life, what am i here to do ? 
Show me the pass, your my only guide in life, your my only hope for a bright dawn.
Here i am at your hands, mould me as you wish, change me to what you  like, im completely and utterly yours.
You see, life has taken me up, yet brought me down. i have no one in life, i have no wall to protect me from the wind, what a sad story to tell, but what can i do ? 
What is it that i can do to change my fortune, how can i change a fortune that has become a reality? 
And then you came, you brought an impossible hope with you, you brought and undoable future, but you gave me purpose, you gave me direction, you changed my life just by looking at you, you turned my world upside down with your smile, and you made me crumble with your laugh. My heart was no longer mine, and now I'm even more confused than i was before, how can someone change so drastically from a look, how can someone change so drastically in a fraction of a second. 
But i did, and it was your doing. It was your simplicity, your grace, your intelligence, your beauty, your passion and love for life. You made me see the world through new eyes, you made me consider a future that i never thought possible, You gave me feelings that i thought were obsolete and useless. You put me on a roller-coaster  of emotions, always sad that im not with you, yet just seeing your name would brighten my day, a message from you would give me butterflies, and when i talk to you, that is a feeling that cannot be put into words.
This is for you, my Butterfly queen.


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I realize today's piece was slightly different, hope you liked it though.

Love

^"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails."~1corinthians13

Throughout history -and i read a lot of history- nations have always been ruled by one of these; fear, lust, greed, and love. of all of them, love was the least successful. shocking isn't it, but is it ? let's think about that for a bit. The way i see it love is the act of exposing your deepest needs, emotions, feelings, and desires, love by definition makes the lover weak and vulnerable, but it is that weakness that makes love itself strong. for if you have loved before -truly loved- you will know what i mean. it doesn't have to be a love story between a man and a woman, that's not the only form of love. true love is between a mother and her child, a brother and his sister, and two friends running down life's road together.

I fear there isn't much that i can say about love, because simply it is different to each of us, and even if it was the same, love is one of those emotions you can hardly understand, let alone describe. so instead, i will be talking about how strongly you can love someone, love them so much that the mention of their name gives you butterflies, that a scent that reminds you of them, would make you go dizzy, for if you weren't completely and utterly overwhelmed by the one you love, then i'm afraid you don't know what love is.

Like the powers of the waves crashing on rocks,

And the everlasting endurance of the rocks.

Like the strength of a mountain base against a river,

And the will of an icy peak against the sun.

Like the vastness of space and the cosmos,

And the tenderness of a lonely red rose.

Like the shout of a thousand warriors,

And the cheer of a triumphant city.
Like the comfort of a warm ocean,

And the sweetness of a running river.

Like the blue sky in a summer day,

And the rain in a winter night.
I.Love.You.

Regret

"What happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way". if ever i would give someone an advice, it would be that sentence. one of the many philosophies i live by is that if you cant change it, then don't worry about it. the past happened, whether bad or good, whether for a reason or haphazard, it has already happened, there is no point in toiling over what cannot be remedied.

Regret is the poison, "what if" is the scorpion.
You spend your life running away, 
But catch you they will, catch you they may.
To have a friend to tend the wound,
Or a lonesome journey that ends in gloom.
Your life ends or begins anew,
It all depends on how you pursue.


You see, regret to me is like a cancer, once it takes hold in your mind, it festers and grows and spreads, affecting all aspects of your life and personality, affecting your every decision and every plan, and even affecting your view of the world and how you perceive people around you. But even if you manage to not feel regretful, the pain of that situation will always be with you, haunting your nights, and the long idle moments. if regret is the cancer, then pain must be death itself.


Too bad life isn't a poem.
Too bad love isn't a song.
Too bad hearts feel pain not comfort
Too bad i wasted the time.
Too bad laughter isn't an option.
Too bad mine isn't theirs.
Too bad i can't mend or cure.
Too bad hearts aren't made of stone.
Too bad the past is now.


But the world moves on. in my few years walking this earth, the one constant I've seen so far was that time moves forward, unwavering, unyielding,and unbending, with such persistence and ruthlessness that isn't found in anything else in our world. and that is a very comforting thought. for whatever happens in your life, there is always a tomorrow, there is always a chance, not to fix the mistakes of the past, but to carve a better future free from those mistakes. no matter what happened in your days and years on this planet, the chance is always there. never give up, never let down.

Life goes on and the world keeps going.
The earth moves around and the farmer keeps plowing.
The sun keeps rising and the wind keeps blowing.
Men keep fighting and hearts keep throbbing.
And my love for you doesn't seem to be stopping.
Songs are sung and paintings are made.
Poems are wrote and feelings are shared.
Happiness falls and tears are afraid.
And what i have for you, none else can create. 

The journey

Love is a queer thing, peculiar, perplexing, exceptional, uncanny, marvelous, bizarre, curious, and erratic, Some may even say it's cruel, but one thing is for sure, whether we admit it or not, we all long for it, we all crave it's companionship and solace, and those who deny that fact are those who hunger for it the most.

So if all of us reach out for love, the question becomes what is it -or who- that we fall in love with. surely a mother's love is different than a life partner's or a pet's, and definitely has leagues of difference with the love of food. and thus love is among some of the very few emotions that must be shared back and forth between two beings in order to fulfill it's role and nourish us.

And therein lies the problem, what happens when you love someone that doesn't love you back ? what happens when someone loves you but you don't share the same feelings with them ? is it then that love changes from a form of nourishment to a form of torture ? that is something to be explored in another post. Today though i'd like to share with you a piece that shows us just how beautiful love can be when it actually triumphs, and both parts share the same feelings with each other.

This poem starts a bit dark, but that is exactly how human life is when it is devoid of love, and it is our journey towards fulfilling our spiritual nourishment that signifies how the end will be. like i promised, every single word has a meaning and a purpose, and so, i encourage you all to take your time while reading this poem, for every line is a phase in the human life, every line is a period all of us have gone through -or will-.


A forest of shadows, a mountain of doubt.
A hooded pilgrim with eyes of death.
A storm of ravens hiding the sun.
An island of hope in the endless blue.
A sea of cinders, preventing entrance.
A boat of love, bridging the way.
A gate with angels, fluttering around.
A melody is sung, like none before.
The locks unshackle, the gates open wide.
A rush of roses, to cheeks unbound.
A shy smile, creeps through the world.
Heaven falls. a room rises in its place.
The sun shines, after a late dawn.
The skies clear, after a winter storm.
For love was shared, forth and back.
And his life was lit up, after being black.


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I realize that some of you might have read this poem before, and it wont be the last time i reuse my old stuff, but i thought i'd write in my train of thought while writing them, and perhaps, just perhaps, let you see my writings from a different perspective.

The push

Throughout our lives, we will all come in contact with 3 kinds of people, those who will stand behind us the whole way and push us forward with as much power as they can muster, and those that will just give us advice just like u give passing advice to someone in the street, and then there are those that will try to pull us down and try and keep us from fulfilling our true potential.

Again, i'm no different that the rest of you, I've been exposed to all three kinds. but generally i tend to not think -or rather care- about the 2 latter types. what i really want to talk about today are the group of people that belong to the first kind.

I've been lucky enough in my life -specially in the last year- to come in contact with different people, with very different backgrounds that greatly affected my life and more precisely have driven me onward to start writing, whether it was poetry, or this blog. 

The first person was about a year ago. she read some of my writings -when i was still starting to write my novel-. i wasn't very confident in what i wrote, but her constant encouragement to me over a period that spanned months -a lot of months- is the overpowering reason why i'm even still writing now

The second person was a few months ago. and again, her encouragement and trust in me is what kept me going in a time when i was completely and utterly down. so much down that i considered to not write again and revert back to my pre-incident personality -by this i mean the incident i talked about in the last post-.

The third person is someone that went through a terrible phase in her life, but she was very strong and got through it. granted, it happened with the help of her friends, but still, her strength and courage through her turmoil inspired me to write the following -so called poem- in honor of her return :

A breeze is soft but more can make storms.

water is weak but a river can carve stones.

fall you might have but onward you moved on.

a brave soul is all you need, and you have that and more.

willpower and strength, intellect and friends.

we all heard the proverb from the mouths of the old,

fall and you learn, get hit and you grow strong.

you've been gifted with you'r curse and no one knows.

now you know who you'r real friends are,

now you know who to rely upon.

so keep going like a feather in a spring wind,

walking is easy once running is clement.

After she read that and for some reason thought it was good, she basically used inception to make me start this blog, so here we are, all of this is thanks to her.

And last but not least is a guy, a very close friend of mine, that read everything i wrote, and his words of encouragement were always pushing me to write more and more. 

I know this post wasn't very enlightening, in fact, it probably felt a bit like a boring history lesson. but i felt it was necessary for me to give credit where it's due, for if it wasn't for these four amazing people, i wouldn't be writing this now. and thus, my deepest thanks to Basma Hamad, Noha Hamdy, Nesmah Mattar, and Mourad Medhat.(mostly girls, female powah wooo) this is all because of you guys .

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Having already given u a useless headache and basically history lessons yesterday and today, i'll start writing some poetry and some thoughts -as the name implies- starting tomorrow. stay tuned :D.

Baby steps.

All of us go through hardships in our lives. and whether we like it or not, it does affect our personality, especially if they happen while we are growing up. sooner or later though, something happens and changes everything. it happens quickly, comes and goes like lightning in a thunderstorm, like a thief in the thick of night. and we are left abandoned and helpless, left to fend for ourselves, yet what hope do we have when in those moments we are like suckling infants that were discarded by their mothers.

But it is during those moments, during that period that our true identity is revealed, it is in that period that the candle of our personality, our talents, and our future is unveiled and stands tall in the middle of all the lunacy of the world, waiting for us to kindle it aflame, and start a new life for ourselves. and perhaps, just perhaps affect other people's lives as well.

I am no different than everyone else. I've gone through my share of hardships. to some, I've gone through hell, while to others i'm a spoiled little child. but no matter what anyone thinks i did go through them, they were mine, and they did affect how i view and interact with the world. i lived a life that i thought was perfect, until something happened to me that changed my view on this world, it changed how i think and how i presume, it changed my understanding of people, their emotions, their mentality, and their feelings, but most of all, it showed me my candle, and i lit it up.

And here i am, years after the incident, writing (what i call but not really sure is) poetry, and little scraps of thoughts that dawn upon my not so smart brain. Some that people will relate to, and many that people won't. but all of them have a story, all of them have a beginning and an end, and every single word has a meaning and a purpose.

So join me as we embark on a journey of words that will leave either you mesmerized, or me, despised.